Introduction

The Machinist's Cookbook

Introduction

This is Not Your Mother’s Cookbook

This cookbook is for machinists, men with big appetites who like good food and lots of it, men who don’t care about calories, cholesterol or salt intake, men who understand that a balanced breakfast is a slice of pizza in each hand and that potato chips and beer are food groups.

This book contains over 220 machine-shop-tested recipes. On these pages you will not find quiche. That mushy, girlie stuff is for suit-wearing, BMW-driving, callous-free, candy-assed wusses who use hair spray, get manicures, and wouldn’t know a cutter from a Cutlass. Though, if accidentally served quiche, a real machinist takes it like a man. He simply stirs in a counterclockwise rotation and calls it scrambled eggs.

Now, men—also known in the “Manual of Cooking Terms” as the male part—don’t worry if you don’t know how to cook, simply hand this book to a woman, also know as the female part. Point to the recipe you want and utter a low, guttural yummy sound. This point-and-grunt method* has 90% proven effectiveness and frees up your hands, which allows more time for machining.

*Warning to machinists: You are not in your shop yelling over a 20-inch lathe running at 2000 RPM. Reduce the resonant frequency of your voice so that this grunt cannot be misinterpreted as an order, or worse yet, a demand. Demand grunts tend to heat up the female part causing loud chatter, a 180° rotation, and rapid run-out, forcing the male part to, and I quote, “Cook your own damn dinner!”

Now, here’s an important fact to remember. The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that there are over 370,000 working machinists in the U.S—no one knows how many are loafing—but they all have one thing in common: they all need to eat. This book is for them.

 

Thank you for reading excerpts from The Machinist's Cookbook. If you have enjoyed reading so far, please purchase the book from the link below.

The Machinist’s Cookbook combines good food and good fun with over 220 recipes, each served with a large dollop of machine shop humor.

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The Engineers' Workshop (UK), June, 2005

In almost all respects, this volume is a complete contrast, being 500 plus pages of bang up to-date material.

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Guy Lautard, Author of The Machinist's Bedside Readers

Machine Shop Essentials is an excellent book which presents a wide array of basic machinist's know-how...Even from a brief look through it, I learned some new things....

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